I finally understand trigger warnings

Posted 5/9/22

I've always believed trigger warning were silly and unnecessary.

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I finally understand trigger warnings

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I've always believed trigger warning were silly and unnecessary. I got it. They were trying to tell people that the picture or movie or the story they were about to read or watch or see might trigger memories of similar things they experienced. But, what did they think was going to happen with that memory? Did they think people forgot about the trauma and the experience might bring it back? The whole thing just seemed dumb. 

My mother was verbally, physically and emotionally abused by her husband as her children all stood by helplessly. I remember all of it. What difference would reading a book or watching a movie make?

I finally understood triggers and warning while reading a book about an unhappy marriage. The husband was able to make his wife believe she was fat, ugly, stupid and worthless even though when they married, she was a very capable business woman. He was so cruel, every muinute of every day.

The funny thing though, was that I found myself filled with rage,  not at the husband, but at her. I was so angry with her, I wanted to scream at her, hit her, kill her even. "How could you be so stupid? What is wrong with you? Why are you allowing your children to be in this situation?" I hated her so much. My heart rate climbs just thinking about it. I start breathing faster and want to pound on the wall. It dawned on me about halfway through the book that this was what a trigger was. I had been triggered.

If you, like me, never experienced this before or never recognized it for what it was, you might want to take trigger warning more seriously. Because this was a new experience for me, I went looking for what I should do once I'd been triggered. I also found that it isn't always a bad thing to be triggered.

According to Dr. Darlene Lancer, it isn't until we recognize our triggers that we can begin to heal them. She said some people withdraw or flee when triggered and some attack. We have to learn our method for dealing with them and evaluate whether our response is appropriate or over the top. In my case, it would probably not be helpful for me or for anyone else for me to attack an abused woman, no matter how badly I want her to stand up for herself or her children.

Dr. Michael Greenberg said, "It’s really hard to refrain from obsessing when you’re so physically upset, so when you’re majorly triggered, it’s important to calm your body down as much as possible. First of all, make sure that you’ve been eating, drinking, and sleeping enough; if you haven’t, address the problem. Next, it’s time to whip out your relaxation and distress-tolerance skills such as deep breathing, vigorous exercise, a hot or cold shower, or whatever you know calms you down. To be clear, these strategies are not meant to solve the problem; they are only meant to help you calm down so that it’s easier to refrain from compulsion. :

Finally, remember that a trigger warning is not there to keep you from reading a book or watching a movie. It doesn't solve anything in your life. What it does do is help you make an informed decision about what you will be reading, watching, looking at. Ask yourself if you can handle it right now or if it might be better to wait. Until you have experienced a severe trigger, you may not realize you even need  awarning, but I know I will pay more attention to them from now on.

triggers, warnings

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