Letter to the Editor: The High Price of Love

Posted 2/28/23

My cousin Bobby ordered one of those mail order brides a little while back.

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Letter to the Editor: The High Price of Love

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My cousin Bobby ordered one of those mail order brides a little while back. Actually he mostly just agreed to pay for the airfare for someone from somewhere overseas he had been conversing with on the intra-net. He was put back a little about the dollar amount of the ticket, but after all, who can put a price on love?

Let’s just say that Bobbie was a little surprised as he watched her roll off the plane with two little ragamuffins in tow. She was, as they say, a little more than expected. Anyway Bobbie is in love and that’s all that matters.

He now has made plans to add a bedroom or two for his recently expanded family and called on me to go to the Depot of Homes to gather the needed materials. Neither I nor Bobbie own a truck so we decided to go to the local YOUHAULIT to rent something. Now feeding his beloved et al has put him back financially so he knew he needed to take the cheap route on this rental so to speak.

Slapped proudly across the side of the truck at the rental place was RENT THIS TRUCK ONLY $19.94! Not only was that price in his budget but it would allow him to buy her a treat of some sort on the way back home.

So he signed a few papers, swiped his credit card and we zipped off to the lumber yard. After buying a couple of dozen stout and straight 2X4s and some drywall we dropped off the supplies at his house and returned the truck. Total trip was about an hour and maybe 52 miles round trip in all.

The smiling clerk at the counter thanked Bobbie for his business and then handed him a bill for nearly $100.00. After picking up Bobbie off the floor, he leaned into the counter and loudly but politely asked to speak to the manager.

“I thought the price of the rental was $19.94?” Bobby asked. “Yes sir, that’s the price.” said the manager, “But in the small print it says that there are additional fees.”

“Like what kind of fees?” asked Bobbie.

“Well it’s all itemized right here on your bill.” he said. “First of all there is the mileage fee of .89 per mile that’s $44.28 right there. You know they are not giving gas away these days. Now had you returned it full that would be another deal. And don’t forget about taxes, the government has to get theirs.”

“Oh OK” said Bobby. “What else you got?”

“Well there’s damage protection and you know that your credit card company won’t cover the cost of damage to a rental truck.”

“But there was no damage” Bobby stammered!

“That’s just the insurance fee. Had you damaged it in any way we would be having a different discussion.” he said. “Then there is the cleaning fee of $25.00.”

“But I did not get it dirty,” said Bobby heating up.

“Are your shoes dirty?” asked the man?

“Nope, clean as a whistle.” Bobby said.

“Well then you must have left all the dirt on the floor of the truck.”

Still studying his shoes Bobby asked. “Anything else?”

“We charge all renters an Environmental Impact fee of $2.00. He said that the money goes back to reducing the negative impact of our business on future generations.”

I pulled Bobby out of there before his fist had a negative impact on the nose of said manager.

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