Our Village Okeechobee is honored to have been selected for the Community Awareness Funding for 2024 National Crime Victims’ Rights Week. This coming Saturday, April 27, Our Village will host its annual dinner at the KOA Convention Center, in recognition of victims who we refer to as SURVIVORS. April is child abuse prevention month followed by May, which is mental health month. If we think about the link to good mental health, we must connect the dots of abuse and trauma with the healing powers of mental health care and natural supports. 

 

Abuse of any kind, be it physical, mental, emotional, or sexual, must be viewed first and foremost through the lens of what it is: a crime. Abuse victims endure trauma that is everlasting and damaging in all aspects of their lives and unfortunately the trauma becomes more severe once the victim decides to speak out and get some semblance of justice. Victims don’t just “get over it.”  Their pain becomes exploited and the narrative shifts from this individual courageously speaking out about the unjust done to them by the hands of their perpetrator to the character of the individual themselves. If the perpetrator is a known figure in the community, there is a conversation that claims the said person could never be an abuser based on what they perceive about the individual. Abuse knows no bounds.

 

Anecdotes and character testimonies circulate in defense as if the victim claiming any abuse is the one in the wrong. It is sheer common sense to note that human beings (for the most part) adopt a friendly, respectful demeanor as they interact with people outside of their homes, in a work environment, or just in a public setting. According to the CDC we know:

 

• About 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 20 boys in the United States experience child sexual abuse. 

• Someone known and trusted by the child or child’s family members, perpetrates 91% of child sexual abuse. 

• The total lifetime economic burden of child sexual abuse in the United States in 2015 was estimated to be at least $9.3 billion dollars.

 

Societal norms educate us from a young age to be pleasant and display a behavior that is deemed “acceptable.” Abuse is something that almost always happens within the confines of homes or in times when the perpetrator is aware that there are no eyes on them.  

 

There is something to be said about being respectful to the notion that is “innocent until proven guilty” however, using an individual’s very public persona to not only discredit a victim’s claim but discredit the actual victim is unjust. After a victim, very bravely, makes public the abuse they have been enduring, the victim is in a way put on trial before the perpetrator. The victim’s history, personality, past relationships, financial status, familial relations, and much more go through an extreme examination which only alludes to the fact that the victim has to ‘pass’ all aspects of the examination in a manner that is ‘good/acceptable’ which is when then and only then can the victims claims can stand in their own merit and even be addressed as a claim. This well-established norm that happens whenever anyone decides to speak out against their abuser only cements the “perfect victim” mentality. If we accept that no human being is perfect, why do we need the victims to be? 

 

Often, victims suffer even more at the hands of their community once they publicly speak out. Okeechobee, for 20 plus years, has consistently had one of the highest rates of verified child abuse in children ages 5 –11 years old, according to data from Florida CHARTS. Playing devil’s advocate, understanding that it can be challenging and a bit uncomfortable to try and navigate conversations pertaining to the painful nature of abuse, it is still not an excuse to allow shame and stigma to surround the victim, who really needs people to surround them with love and understanding. However, victims often don’t get any support from their community or even their own family. Victims get contradicted, undermined, and made to feel, at the very bare minimum, inconvenient; inconvenient for disrupting what once was a ‘smoothly’ functioning community or by bringing about a topic that is simply uncomfortable to dissect due to its nature. All of this is felt even more intensely if the perpetrator is a family member. Now the victim is alienated and blamed within their own family.  

 

A victim also suffers when they go to court. The legality that surrounds a claim of abuse is bewildering to say the least but without even trying to understand the legal aspect, one can just briefly look at the nature of what happens to a victim when they do speak out. First and foremost, the victim loses ownership over their own story. They are now being represented and often hear a dialogue about themselves, as they sit in silence.  A conversation that mostly tries to invalidate the victims’ claim. After losing ownership of their story (and, in borders, their life story), often victims don’t get justice. They get options that are the ‘closest’ they can get to a semblance of justice. Further trauma occurs when the child does not receive appropriate care to process the trauma, or they build trust and the therapist leaves to another agency or community. Having a victim share the story over and over is a travesty. Abuse is a crime and we as a community need to start treating it as such.  We need to have hard conversations about this issue, as we often do not know who walks among us as abusers. We need our community to be trauma informed and supportive. Children MUST feel safe. At Our Village we hope every day that we create a space where children can find their voice and healing.  

 

If you would like more information about accessing help, check out the Office for Victims of Crime, part of the Office of Justice Programs in the U.S. Department of Justice.

 

If you have questions, need local resources, or would like to attend our event, please reach out to Leah at Our Village at 205 NE Second St., Okeechobee, FL or call at 863-447-0473.